It is never too late to be a better friend, a better mother, a better sibling or a better person in general. There is no use attacking yourself with guilt from past mistakes or blunders. You can always move forward. Keep this in your head and you will see it manifest before your eyes.
People who suffer from depression and crazy tend to be very creative people as well. I am currently enrolled in college and have found that when i am manic my work tends to be better than when I feel “normal.” There are two other women that are in two of my classes that also suffer from depression and crazy and they have some of the same experiences with creativity as i do. I know that for me, when my mind is racing and i put pen to paper I can come up with some amazing work. By doing assignments or just free-writing, we are able to let go of much that is going on inside. So always remember that any creative work can be very therapeutic.
This is going to be a life style change for you and your loved ones. First and foremost stop drinking and taking illegal drugs if you do. This will only cause negative consequences and can make this disorder worse. Surround yourself with upbeat, positive people. They will help you and will not lead you into bad things.
Stop complaining about your life all the time. There is no sense asking for advice from people close to you if you don’t listen to their suggestions at all.
I do not claim disability income, although I could. I work like a regular fellow earning all the income I receive. Why do I not claim disability income? Because I want to work for my money because I can. I am not saying that you should refuse disability. If you are feeling really depressed, as this disorder will do that to you, then maybe for a while you should go on disability. But, only go on it if you have to. Try to get better. You can get better with the right help. I would suggest to find a psychiatrist if you have not already and work your problems out with him or her.
The poem If by Rudyard Kipling majors on many divisible themes around the maturity of balance, but one that stands out in the present discussion is the line about both Triumph and Disaster being impostors.
Take time to think about what you want from life. Too often we get rushed into a path that we are really not interested in taking. For some people this might involve a parent pushing them into the family business. For others it might be peer pressure to drop out of school. Only you know what you really want.