You have to change the way you look at your situation. Look at it from a different angel. This may help you to see that it is not the end of the world. Get “outside” your body, so to speak and see it as if you are another person. Try and see what good it is that you have to offer someone. What are your best qualities? Write them down, it is the best way to convince yourself of them. Realize that you have a lot to offer. Do not put yourself down. For sure there is going to be someone out there who will appreciate them. Wait for that person to come along.
Drugs and alcohol may only be a small concern. They may partake of illegal drugs or alcohol, but it is in more of a social way and there’s no obvious evidence of it as being a problem.
Is your helping encouraging? All of your “helping” should encourage your adult child to do better and become more independent. It shouldn’t be so controlling that it takes away the incentive for your adult child to try or that it sends the message that he/she is incapable of handling his/her own life. Helping someone to help themselves is the goal. All of us learn best when we are in control of our choices and directly experience the consequences of them.