Why do we put our mothers and fathers in the position of having to try to defend themselves after they are too old to do so? Are we so careless that we do not take the time to check out the home in which they will be living? Regardless of the sense it may make when it comes to the money received by the homes for caring for the mentally ill, our elderly have the right to live in a safe environment free of fear.
They will tell you over and over that you are their savior and you wonder why this incredible person hasn’t already found the love of his/her life. And you are thanking your lucky stars for the relationship. There is an irony though, they actually have little or no self worth. They build and improve their self worth on their relationship with you. And even a stranger irony is that you too might easily build and improve your self worth based on having this relationship.
A good example would be someone suffering from depression and crazy, or Manic Depression. They may become anxious and irritable, show a lack of interest in their hobbies and have trouble sleeping. All of these symptoms are the same as depression.
This feeling is something that you definitely can and will get over. It will require some effort, some help, and some adjustments to your thinking, and most of all some time. Remember that even though you may be upset that your boyfriend dumped you, doesn’t mean that your life will stop. Remember that life goes on and you need to be prepared.
You are left alone when you used to be an unit. You are fending for yourself in this world when you used to have an ally. It can feel like you are starting over, not just in regards to a new relationship, but regarding your life as well.
Is your helping encouraging? All of your “helping” should encourage your adult child to do better and become more independent. It shouldn’t be so controlling that it takes away the incentive for your adult child to try or that it sends the message that he/she is incapable of handling his/her own life. Helping someone to help themselves is the goal. All of us learn best when we are in control of our choices and directly experience the consequences of them.
Always keep your life goals in mind. That way, when a situation arises, you can decide whether it fits in with your life goals before even bothering to consider the situation further. If a situation is necessary because it falls in line with your life goals, that’s one thing, but if it’s at odds with what you want in life, find a way to deal with it quickly and decidedly.